This season's Honolulu Brawling Kahunas could become known as the slowest team in the history of Double Mendoza.
They're just not going to get there very quickly.
This team could well surpass the single-season record for the fewest stolen bases - 2, by the Season 2 Richmond Spider Monkeys (this era's Columbus Discoverers). They were trying to do much better - they had 8 caught stealing's to go with their pair of thefts. Incidentally, the immortal Andrew Beaulac had both those steals. With no worlds left to conquer, he retired after that penultimate season with a .226 lifetime batting average and 16 home runs.
The Kahunas moved into elite turtledom status in Season 9 with 9 SB's (7 CS), and nearly hit single figures with 11 last year (5 CS). But their only thief, Ray Kozlowski, went to Iowa City in a deadline trade. No player on the current ML roster had a stolen base last year.
Some team officials had lobbied to use one of the team's last 2 utility jobs on a speedy pinch-runner. The first one has gone to Travis Costello, who did steal few bags in his younger days but whose only jobs now will be to hit lefties and wheeze around left filed in a wheelchair for a few innings.
BREAKING NEWS: Honolulu has signed vet OF Anthony Winn to their last position spot, imperiling their shot at the record. Winn has 209 career steals, and swiped 14 with Philly last year. While his speed has dropped even more and his playing time this season will be minimal, it seems likely he'll manage more than a couple.
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